


When You’re Held Together By Duct Tape and String it’s Hard to Tell When You’re Falling Apart

by codenamecalico



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, But also not, Dick Grayson is a good big brother, Dick doesn't agree with Bruce's parenting methods, Dick is helpful, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I think I accidentally gave Tim OCD, Its all kind of Bruces fault, Tim Drake Gets a Hug, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, Tim drake is a forgotten middle child, Woops, dick has some issues too, self indulgent, the timeline doesnt exist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:29:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26351944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/codenamecalico/pseuds/codenamecalico
Summary: “Hey Timmy!”Tim's train of thought was cut short abruptly. his eyes shot toward the door in panic but there was nothing he could do. It was like seeing an oncoming car and not having the time to get to safety. Time seemed to slow down. There was the distinct sound of someone turning the doorknob. The room was flooded with light and there right in the center of it was Dick, smiling encouragingly and not at all aware of what he had walked into. He continued speaking without missing a beat. “I need a double for Taboo and-”His eyes met Tims and the rest of the words died in his throat. The playful smile he had been wearing evaporated instantaneously. “What's wrong?”orTim has some very serious emotional issues that he insists on dealing with himself and Dick shows up to convince him to do otherwise.
Relationships: Tim Drake & Dick Grayson
Comments: 10
Kudos: 151





	When You’re Held Together By Duct Tape and String it’s Hard to Tell When You’re Falling Apart

**Author's Note:**

> I've learned how to use the italics on here, it's all over for you guys.  
> *  
> Possible Trigger Warning: Parental death, intrusive thoughts, fear of not being enough [if I missed any please let me know so I can add them]

It hadn't been the easiest day, but Tim knew that it wouldn't be. 

Hell, it hadn't been the easiest _week,_ knowing that this day was coming. Still, he didn't think it would hurt this bad. Each day that it got closer his mind was consumed more and more with thoughts of what had been and what would never be again and what was it all for? Nothing had really changed at all. _It was just another date on a calendar_ and he wasn't going to let a date on a calendar rule over him.

He had been Robin. He had made his own way in the world as Red Robin. He was strong and just like Batman, he wouldn't let something little like this break him. If Bruce had taught him anything it was that you had to keep moving on when bad things happened, don't let it overcome you. _Just keep pushing forward…_

And that was what he had been trying to do.

He had made it through the whole day determined to treat it like it wasn't a problem, because it wasn't, and other than a few side eyes from the other bats and a little more exhaustion than usual, he’d done it. It wasn't that any of it actually made him feel any better but he was proud at his ability to handle it himself. It felt like proof that he was just as strong as the rest of them. So what if his chest felt tight every time he slipped up and a rouge thought intruded on his day? He would just have to be better next time because it wasn't worth thinking about and it definitely wasn't worth bothering anyone else with. He would just tough out the pain until it stopped, it always did...eventually.

Sure it was exhausting, and at times it felt like Tim was carrying fifteen tons of bricks in his chest and that his brain would rip itself in half due to its own infighting but he had gotten used to the feeling. It would pass. It would pass. It had to.

Now, he had almost done it. Here he was, alone in his room, lying face up on a bed far too large for him just waiting for the last moments of this miserable occasion to be over. As he laid there, the shadows in his room grew longer and darker as the sun outside sank below the horizon, leaving the whole room dark and empty. In a sad sort of way that felt only right. 

The others were still in the common rooms doing who knows what but Tim had excused himself from the Wayne boys antics for the night. He claimed that he had to work on a case and he really had intended to but he had just been so exhausted. All he was going to do was lay down for a minute but once he was alone it all started to hit him again. With nothing to distract himself it was a lot harder to ignore the persistent thoughts as they repeatedly stabbed at his mind sending his train of thought careening off the rails. 

Because this should have been such a happy day, but _he was gone._

They both were.

And they were never coming back.

Tim’s jaw clenched as he tried to think of anything else but no matter what he tried all roads led back here. 

Because they were dead.

It suddenly got a lot harder to breathe. Again Tim tried to think of something else but the grooves were already so deep that he already knew where this was going because no matter where it started, it always ended here. 

It was all his fault.

God, it was all his fault. He could have stopped it. If he really and truly had been paying attention, if he had known and tried, if he was _better,_ he knows he could have stopped it. But he didn't and he wasn't and they were gone and with them Tim lost the last frayed tie to his real family that he would ever have. And there were too many others, so many ghosts that haunted him. He had not one left to lose. He was alone. _Always so alone-_

He shut his eyes tight and cut the thought off.

When he opened his eyes again he could feel the tears growing in them. From the speed that he shot up in the bed you would have thought that they were burning him but no, it was just the tears. In a rushed, frustrated, movement he wiped them away before they could fall and cause him further shame.

 _No,_ he wasn't giving in to this. _he was stronger than this._ His hands began to shake. All his attention went to forcefully keeping the thoughts at bay making the world around Tim grow more and more distant and unfamiliar. The room was already quiet but now his thoughts were so loud it felt devoid of any noise at all. He needed an escape, a way out. In a jerky, mechanical motion he flung legs over the edge of his bed, intending to get up and go somewhere, anywhere to distract from his mind but when he got there he found that there was nowhere to go. The darkness had fully closed in around him and the sun was gone so everywhere he looked held the same dark void. It was all just the same dark, empty, lonely room. 

It was fine. He was fine. If he could just stop his thoughts he would be fine again.

But despite his best efforts the tears kept trying to push their way out and the more they tried to fall the more he tried to suppress them. 

His hands curled into fists as all of the pain and frustration turned to anger. Anger at his situation. Anger at the world for taking so much from him. Anger at himself for being so weak. 

He saw red and black and before he knew what he was doing his fist was in the air and colliding with the wall behind him,going clean through the first layer and leaving a deep impression in its wake. The excruciating pain in his hand finally pulled him back into the real world. He let out a cry of pain and yanked his hand to his chest protectively as something in his hand snapped in a way that it shouldn't have snapped. 

He was such an idiot. What good did he think that was going to do? And now he had to deal with explaining the hole in the wall. Why was he always making everything worse? He was always screwing up and falling short and sometimes-

“Hey Timmy!”

That train of thought was cut short abruptly. Tim’s eyes shot toward the door in panic but there was nothing he could do. It was like seeing an oncoming car and not having the time to get to safety. Time seemed to slow down. There was the distinct sound of someone turning the doorknob. The room was flooded with light and there right in the center of it was Dick, smiling encouragingly and not at all aware of what he had walked into. He continued speaking without missing a beat. “I need a double for Taboo and-” 

His eyes met Tims and the rest of the words died in his throat. The playful smile he had been wearing evaporated instantaneously. “ _What's wrong?_ ” 

The air itself in the room froze. All Tim could do was stare at Dick, mortification settling over him like a suffocating blanket. He must have looked so pathetic right then, crumpled up on his bed, cradling his hand- and he didn't want to think about how red his eyes probably looked. What kind of a hero was he? Hiding in the dark unable to even control his own mind. Fortunately, with the adrenaline, his survival skills started to kick in. As soon as the shock wore off he was quick to break eye contact.

Tim quickly wiped away the most recent tears as discreetly as he could.“It’s nothing.” 

Dick wasn't an idiot though, and he didn't back down in the least. 

He took a tentative step closer.“ _Tim._ ” 

Though he didn't look up, Tim felt the weight of Dick’s worried eyes on him and it was enough to make him feel like he was being cornered. His anger flared again.

It was the _way_ he said it that got to him. That tone, that look on his face, that was exactly what Tim had been trying to avoid. He didn't want- no, he didn't _need_ anyone's pity. When he sat back up straight he made sure that the first thing Dick saw was the scowl on his face. It was something he had perfected over years of intimidation training, formal and informal. If being Robin had taught Tim anything, it was to hide his weaknesses. You couldn't let your opponent have any knowledge on how to hurt you. You had to seem indestructible, uncompromising, _immortal_. Then people would take you seriously.

That was why people respected Batman. 

Well, Tim could do that too. 

“ _Nothing_ ” he repeated more firmly, “it's fine.” There was an edge to his voice this time that warned Dick to just close the door and leave him be. Unfortunately, what little power the line may have had was quickly undermined. In a haisty attempt to hide his injured hand Tim dropped it quickly to one side but was moving so quickly he didn't realize just how close the side table was. The pain shot through him the second his hand made contact with the corner of the table and again he let out a restrained cry of pain. Before he knew it he was bent over, once again cradling his injury. 

So much for intimidation training. 

The cry pushed Dick into action. Plunging the room back into darkness he hastily shut the door behind him as he moved to join Tim on his bed. 

He anxiously cursed under his breath. 

“I _knew_ there was something going on with you today.” He mumbled, more scolding himself than anything else. His arm was extended to take Tim’s injured hand before he had even fully sat down. Momentarily Tim tried to resist this gesture by refusing to relinquish his hand but he knew from experience that that wouldn't work. Dick had a tendency to be like an aggressive mother hen when he knew someone was injured. It only made it worse to brush him off and they both knew that he would win in the end. So, Tim released his hand. It was already starting to swell but when Dick saw it he was careful to mask any reaction to it other than to cock his head to one side and mumble,“ _Oh Baby Bird,_ what did you do to yourself?” 

From the forced lightheartedness in his tone Tim knew that he was going to try and get him to open up about this. It was the classic Grayson method, act like the problem isn't as serious as it is and hope that the other person falls for it and tells you everything. He had been using it on Tim as long as he had known him. 

It made him feel like a child. 

“I just hit it on the table.” Tim insisted dismissively, hoping the room was dark enough that he wouldn't notice the hole he had put in the wall behind them.

Dick raised an eyebrow and peered up at Tim skeptically but never really turned his attention away from the injury.

Deciding not to dignify the lie with a response, Dick plunged forward with his examination.“Hold still and stop me if it hurts.” 

Carefully he started pressing down lightly on different parts of Tim’s hand searching for broken bones. The swelling was the worst around the last knuckle where it had first hit the wall so he left that for later and started on the other side. 

As Dick worked his way around his hand Tim refused to say anything. He was determined to give Dick as little as he possibly could and hoped that he would just give up or better yet that he would just believe that all of this was because of the injury and not ask any more questions. Tim knew that he couldn't really lie to him, training or no, Dick knew him too well for that, but that didn't mean that he couldn't stonewall him. 

For a few moments Dick respected the silence but it didn't last. When it became clear that Tim wasn't going to offer any explanations himself Dick tried to pull one out of him.

“So,” he started with a false nonchalance. “do you want to tell me _why_ you were punching tables?” 

“It was an accident.” Tim replied shortly, which wasn't a total lie. 

Dick didn't look up from his work but Tim knew the exact skeptical, knowing look he had on his face. It would piss Dick off to no end if he told him, but it was the same one Bruce always had when Tim tried to lie away the bags under his eyes, not that Bruce usually paid enough attention to really notice anymore. There were just so many of them here now that it was easy for Tim to get lost in the shuffle. He didn't care though, that was how he liked it and when all was said and done, it was as much Tim’s fault as anyone. He had gotten really good at hiding things since he moved into the manor. Usually not even Dick could really tell when something was bothering him. 

He must have been slipping. 

“ _Pretty bad_ for an accident.” Dick argued.

“We’ve all had worse.” Tim replied darkly.

Ignoring the grim edge in Tim’s voice, Dick tilted his head to one side casually.

“Maybe,” He mused lightly but then his voice got very serious. “But normally _we_ don't end up with mysterious injuries from sitting alone in a dark room.” 

“It's not mysterious.” Tim was getting very testy at this point.

“You won't tell me how you did it.” 

“ _I hit it on a table._ ” There was a lot more Force in Tims voice this time as he grew more annoyed with this whole charade. 

“You and I both know that that's not all that happened.” Dick was more forceful as well.

Tim was getting to the end of his patience for this. 

“ _Drop it_ Dick.” He yelled.

Tim saw Dicks eyes narrow in frustration and for a second he wondered if he might _actually_ be mad at him but he never found out as almost simultaneously another shock of pain shot through his arm. Dick hadn't been thinking; he pushed down too hard on the last knuckle on Tim’s hand where most of the swelling was centered and it had done what every bad injury did when you messed with it, it forcefully reminded you not to do that anymore. Tim shut his eyes tight against the pain and would have pulled his hand back if Dick’s grip hadn't stopped him.When the pain had dissipated and Tim could focus on Dick again he found that the frustration was completely gone and all that was left was worry. 

“ _Sorry._ ” He apologized quickly, letting up on the knuckle and rubbing a little circle on the spot where the pain had been. He stopped searching for injuries after that but didn't let go of Tim’s hand. 

When it was clear that Tim was no longer in pain he relaxed a bit. Then, slowly, his brow began to furrow again. The look on his face, it didn't quite have the frustration that had been there before but it had the same determination behind it as he took one long look at Tim. He sat without saying anything at first but Tim could see the wheels turning in his mind as if deciding whether or not it was worth it to say whatever he was thinking. Looking Tim up and down, he must have decided that it was. Finally dropping the pageantry, he leveled his eyes at Tim sternly and spoke without reservation. 

“Fine, if you don't want to talk about this”-he lifted Tim’s hand in his own- “then do you want to tell me what's been going on with you all day?” He asked bluntly. “You didn’t say anything at dinner, you insisted on going on patrol alone all week, I keep seeing you staring off into nowhere-I just want to know that you are okay,” the seriousness dropped off in favor of desperation. “ _please._ ”  
This finally drew Tim over the edge. In an instant rage filled him and he ripped his hand back sharply. 

“ _Just leave it!_ ” Tim shouted out of nowhere, his hand now protectively pinned to his chest.

Taken aback by the outburst, Dick froze again in shock. It had all happened so fast, Tim didn't even realize what he was doing. He already felt horrible and the hurt look on Dick’s face only made him feel worse. This wasn't what he wanted. Gosh, he didn't even know why he’d yelled like that. What was wrong with him? He didn't want to hurt Dick’s feelings, all he wanted was to be left alone. Why couldn't Dick understand that?

“Tim why wont you talk to me anymore-” 

“ _Why do I have to talk about anything?_ No one else in this house does!” Tears were welling up in Tim’s eyes again as all of his feelings mixed together into one huge awful mess and he couldn't even tell what was upsetting him anymore. It felt like the walls were coming down on him. “All the rest of you can take care of your own problems and nothing ever gets to you _and Bruce-_ ” 

The lump in his throat stopped him from going any further but it was too late. He saw the recognition on Dick’s face, he had made a connection that Tim was hoping he wouldn't. This time it was real anger that Dick was restraining but Tim knew that it wasn't directed at him. 

“Is that what this is about? Did Bruce say something to you?” He attempted to speak gently but his outrage was not very well hid. Tim didn't say anything. After years of watching them fight he knew better than to get in the middle of a disagreement between Dick and Bruce. Besides, Tim didn't need to say anything for Dick to know that Tim was trying to follow Bruce’s example. Dick let out a frustrated curse under his breath as the silence confirmed his suspicions. With a deep anger he reserved specifically for Bruce he glared back towards Tim’s door and into the depths of the mansion, no doubt looking for Bruce wherever he happened to be. More than likely this wouldn't be the end of this. Still, having gotten it out of his system Dick was mostly able to brush it off for the moment. When he turned back to Tim he took a deep breath and looked at him kindly. 

“Look, I don't know what Bruce told you but don't listen to him okay?” There was a hint of desperation in his tone that drew Tim’s attention. It was the desperation of a man who had gone down this road himself before and for the first time Tim started to wonder what it had been like for Dick growing up in the manor before all of the rest of them had come along. From the look on his face, he guessed not good. “I know that he looks like he always has it all together but it's just a facade. He insists on dealing with every problem on his own because he doesn't trust any of the rest of us… or maybe he thinks its nobler or -something- but it’s _not_. It's just destructive Tim, and I’m not letting him pass that on to you.” Finally letting his mind catch up with his emotions, Dick let out a sigh and the residual anger left him. He deflated. “I know that Bruce did the best that he could with all of us, and he is a good man, but he’s also broken. I just don't want to see you end up like that.”

It was Tim’s turn to be shocked. He had never heard Dick talk like that before, at least not to him. It felt like he had unearthed some deep trama Dick had been dealing with for a long time and it left him speechless. 

Dick looked back at him, a little lighter than he had been before but after a moment his eyes fell again. 

“Hey,If- if you just don't want to talk to _me,_ I can understand-” 

“ _No!_ ”Tim cut in urgently. Dick looked back at him shocked, but expectant. It just wasn't fair to him; Tim couldn't let him think that he didn't trust him. He loved Dick. There was no one in the manor that he trusted more, but he still wasn't necessarily ready to talk either. He composed himself. “I just- dont you have enough going on in your life?” 

“What do you mean?”

This was it, last chance to turn back.

But he didn't. 

“You have been through so much pain already, everyone that I know has,”This was real enough that he didn't want to see what face Dick would make when he said it so he stared down at his hand in his lap. He hated that Dick had somehow managed to break him. Just like always, when the chips were down, he caved. He shut his eyes tight and felt his hands becoming fists. “How can I make someone deal with my _stupid_ problem when all of you have been through so much worse? It’s bad enough I can't stop my issues from ruining my life, why should I burden someone else with them?”

Man, he’d never said it out loud before. 

“Hey!” Dick’s voice was firm but kind. “You’re not a burden Tim and I’m not _dealing_ with anything. I’m here because I want to be alright?” Out of the corner of his eye Tim could see Dick leaning forward to try and force eye contact but Tim wouldn't meet his eyes. “And how do you think _I_ got through all of those awful things? I had Kory and Wally and all the others who were there to help me through it.” he put a hand tentatively on Tims shoulder, “So… you don't have to talk to me. I’m sorry if I was trying too hard to force you into it, but if you ever do want to talk, just- I’m here.” 

At this, Tim finally looked back up at Dick. His eyes were filled with tears but this time he didn't fight them. Tim wasn't really sure if he agreed with everything Dick was saying and he still felt like a burden but like always, Dick just had a way of getting things out of him.

“It’s my dad’s birthday.” He finally confessed. 

Recognition swept across Dick’s face. It clearly wasn't what he had expected but it was something he understood deeply. Instinctively he pulled Tim into a tight hug. 

“I’m so sorry Tim.” 

_I’m so sorry._

Tim had heard those words spoken by millions of aristocrats and strangers since his mother first died and even more after his father passed as well, even Bruce had said them, but this time was different. This was the first time that Tim really felt like the other person meant it. It wasn't that the other people had not actually been sad for Tim but they didn't really know what it was like. Maybe Bruce had known… but he had been so distant in those days. It wasn't like this. When Dick hugged him it was with the force of someone who knew exactly what it was like to mourn someone alone in Wayne Manor. 

With his head tucked securely against Dick’s chest, that's when it all really came out. All the tears he had been holding back all week. All the tears he had been holding back for longer. 

“I miss them..” He got out between sobs.

Dick rubbed a circle on Tim’s back gently. 

“I know buddy.”

He wasn't going to say anything else, but the dam had burst. There was no stopping it now. 

“ _It was all my fault._ ”

The muscles in Dick’s back stiffened when he heard this but he didn't pull away.

“No, Baby Bird you cant think like that.”

“But its true. I’m always falling short. If I had been there sooner-” A sob overtook his voice and he couldn't finish but he felt like the point had been made. Even if it hadn't his breath was so choppy he wasn't sure he could get another word out. 

Dick settled his chin on the top of Tim’s head. “Hey, hey, just breath okay buddy?” He paused and waited until Tim’s breath had evened out a little bit. “You’re doing amazing Timmy. I know its hard, but you’re doing the best that you can, thats all you can do.”

“But what if I’m-”his voice caught, “ -just not good enough?”

“Of course you’re good enough.”The way he said it you would have thought someone had just shot him. Tim didn't want to say anything else after that. This was exactly why he didn't want to bother Dick with it in the first place. 

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, held fast in Dicks arms crying his eyes out, feeling like he had let the whole world down and worse, himself. All the while Dick was whispering encouragement to him. 

“Baby Bird you work so much harder than anyone else I know.” He stroked a hand through Tims hair. “You care so much more than anyone else. You have got to be nicer to yourself.”

Tim wasn't sure if the words made it better or worse. It was everything he had ever wanted to hear but what if it wasn’t true? What if Dick was just trying to make him feel better. The tone of his voice told Tim he was stupid for thinking that, clearly Dick meant everything he was saying. But that didn't make any of it true. 

Regardless of whether it was because of Dick’s words or just because Tim had run out of tears to cry, the tears eventually slowed. His breathing evened out and he just sat still, not wanting to ever have to move out of that moment. It felt like he was empty, like he had purged something deep inside that had been festering for a long time. He wouldn't really say that he felt good, but maybe it was better, lighter, than before. He still felt disappointed in himself but Dick didn't seem to think any less of him for it. At least he had that. When he finally pulled away and wiped the last tear from his eyes Dick let him, but kept a hand on each of his shoulders.

Dick looked Tim in the eye again and all Tim saw was concern.

“Tim you know that I love you right? Everyone in this house loves you.”

Of course he knew that… but it wasn't something that got said out loud like that a lot. 

Tim swallowed hard. “Yeah, I know.”

“And you love all of us right?”

“Of course I do!”

“Well what would you do if you ever heard someone saying those kinds of things to one of us?”

“I’d stop them.” Tim realized the trap he was falling into and quickly followed with. “But Dick this is _different-_ ”

“Why?”Dick said challengingly. “Because it's you? I have bad news for you Timmy, but you are just like the rest of us. We all mess up and we all have bad days. It doesn't make us any lesser, and it doesn't make you any worse either.”

Tim wouldn't respond. How was he supposed to respond to that? Of course Dick was right but that didn't mean that Tim agreed with him. It was just… _different_. When it came to Tim he knew that it was different. 

The distress must have shown on his face because after a silent moment of contemplation Dick leaned in and asked softly,“Are you alright?” 

“No” Probably the most honest answer Tim had given all night.

Dick sighed. He moved his arm around Tim’s shoulder and pulled him closer to him. “That's alright.”

They sat there in the dark for a really long time. Thoughts were still swirling in Tim’s mind but somehow, the things Dick had said had mixed in with them. He always knew that the others loved him but… could they really ever think as much of him as he thought of them? It was… something to consider.

“Thanks Dick.” Tim said quietly.

Dick placed a kiss on Tim’s forehead. “Anytime Red.”

Tim was still unsettled inside and he knew that he probably would be for the rest of the night but he needed that reminder that he wasn't really alone. Tim had no siblings so at this point Dick was probably the closest thing he would ever have to a big brother and in a time when he was searching for a place to anchor himself, that's all he needed. 

As all of this sank it something occurred to Tim. “I don't think I want to be alone in here all night.” The words came out a little rushed as the thought of entering the void he had been in before loomed over him. 

Cautiously, Dick’s more playful side made a reappearance.“Do you feel up to a family game night?”

Tim mulled it over. 

Honestly, no. He didn't really feel up to anything, but he didn't want to stay here either and Dick had already been gone so long now, people would start asking questions that he didn't want to answer if they didn't get back soon. Well, he had to do something, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

“Sure,” He answered reluctantly “but I’m not sure how good of a partner I’ll be tonight.” 

Dick’s smile broadened. 

“That’s okay, I mostly just thought you would appreciate seeing Jason and Damien try to be on the same team.” He said teasing. “I love them both but I am kind of expecting them to get in a fight halfway through.”

Tim chuckled weakly at this. Dick sure did know exactly the right buttons to push.

Content with the little happiness that was returning to Tim, Dick stood and motioned for Tim to follow him. 

“ _But,_ before we do anything let's go see if we cant do something about that hand.” He said pointing to Tim’s still swollen hand that in all of the emotion he had somehow forgotten about. 

Tim nodded solemnly and followed Dick to the door. He opened it, once again letting the light in. They headed down the hall towards the bathroom to get something to wrap his hand, leaving the door wide open so that it would no longer stay veiled in darkness.

Dick didn't ask about Tim’s hand again. He just let Tim sit silently on the side of the tub as he pulled down antiseptic and ace bandages. Apparently he must have decided nothing was broken or they would probably be at a hospital right now. Still, the more he sat there the more that he felt like he owed Dick this one. 

Dick moved over and sat next to him, readying the antiseptic on a cotton ball. “Alright this might hurt.”

Tim hissed when it hit an open portion of the wound but it was over rather quickly and Dick was a lot gentler this time. He decided he had to tell him. “By the way I didn't-” how was he supposed to bring this up? Dick looked at him but didn't try to push him into continuing. “I kind of got frustrated and punched a hole in the wall of my bedroom… that's what happened.” He was still ashamed of it. 

Dick smiled and there was no judgment in it. “Thank you for telling me.”

Tim let out an unenthused laugh. “Well, you’re not going to be the hard one to tell”

“Alfred?”

“Alfred.”

It was Dick’s turn to laugh. “Don't, worry about it Timmy, I’m sure he’ll understand.” he finished cleaning the wound and started wrapping his hand. “And I can be there when you tell him if you want.”

“That would be nice,” And with that yet another weight seemed to have lifted off of Tim’s shoulders, but there was one last thing bothering him. “Hey Dick can you do something for me… “

“Sure, what is it?”

“Please don't tell Bruce about any of this.” 

Dick stopped dressing the wound for a moment. Tim knew that this would be hard for him because clearly earlier Dick had wanted to rip into Bruce for being the example that drove Tim to this. He was just being protective and Tim knew that but Bruce was the last person that Tim wanted to know about this. Despite anything Dick had said, he still didn't want Bruce thinking any less of him. Dick held in a breath like he wanted to say no but in the end, he agreed.

“Alright, I promise, but on _one condition,_ ” He held a finger up and then pointed it in Tim’s direction. “Next time something like this is going on, come to me before you put any more holes in the wall.” He was teasing just a little bit but behind that was a serious ask. “Deal?”

Tim smiled. “ _Deal._ ”

If nothing else that happened that night had lessened Dick’s anxieties about Tim this surely had. As soon as he got the confirmation that Tim would let him know when things were going wrong something about him just seemed brighter. Tim was glad for that, he didn't want Dick to have to worry about him. 

After that, he finished warping Tim’s hand, and then they went downstairs to join the others. 

It wasn't a perfect night by any means and it wasn't like Tim completely forgot about the date, it still hung over him, but it was better than it would have been if he had tried to weather the storm alone. 

Dick was careful to keep an eye on Tim all night and divert any questions as to what happened to his hand so he wouldn't have to go through everything again. That was nice. In addition, somewhere in the middle of the game Jason and Damien _did_ get in a fight and it ended in a rather entertaining argument that Dick had to break up.  
Tim had a pretty good laugh at that.

For the first time in probably too long, Tim felt a connection to these people. The other Robins would never replace his family, he would always be a Drake no matter what the official records said, but he was happy that he had all of them. 

It was late when he went back to his room but when he finally did, it was with a certain lightness he hadn't had before. He fell softly into that same bed and that night he slept like he hadn't slept in years. It wouldn't last forever and he knew that but for the time at least, he was at peace knowing that maybe he wasn't as alone as he thought.

**Author's Note:**

> So that was the fic! Thank you so much for reading to the end, I hope that you enjoyed it!  
> I won't lie, I know that it could have been a lot better but I've already spent about three weeks on this one and I really just needed to call it a day and post it so I could get back to working on schools work. This being said, please comment and let me know what you think! Constructive criticism is welcome, I really do want to get better so I would love to hear what about my writing seems off. Also, any other thoughts you have are also appreciated because honestly, they give me the fuel I need to keep writing.  
> Other than that I'd just like to say, in the process of writing this I have discovered that there are about 500 thousand other fics with almost this exact plot and there are a lot of them that are better or darker than this one, so if you liked this and want some more recommendations, I can hook you up.  
> I hope your day is magnificent and this brought you joy (or pain, whatever you're into).


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